The pursuit of wholeness is of obvious professional interest to me, but it’s a very personal pursuit as well. It’s a process I’m working toward through many different routes. Sometimes it can be a little tricky to know who to turn to and when. How do you know when it might be time for therapy? Here are five possibilities.
1. You’re struggling with your relationships. Maybe you just broke up with the same kind of guy or gal you always date. Maybe your spouse or partner is driving you crazy but he or she isn’t quite ready to go to counseling with you. Perhaps your mother came to visit and you became the worst version of yourself. Again. Maybe you want to feel closer to those you love but you can tell that abusive relationship from the past is getting in your way. We came into the world in relationship with others, and they bring us our deepest joys and greatest sorrows.
2. Your coping skills lack a certain finesse. Maybe instead of one glass of wise at night, you find yourself finishing the bottle. Maybe you’re starting to eat too much or too little. Or maybe the ways you cope used to work pretty well, but your life just got a lot more stressful and you’re feeling anxious more days than not, or wish you could stay in bed all day.
3. Someone important to you thinks it might be a good idea. It can be really hard to hear from a loved one that they don’t think we’re doing so well, but as a wise person said to me recently, no one can see themselves perfectly on their own. We need our loved ones to be mirrors. It’s a gift really – they can see things we can’t see! If someone you love is nudging you to get some help, they might be on to something.
4. You’re grieving or transitioning. Maybe someone dear to you just died. Or perhaps they died years ago and you haven’t thought about it until recently when your friend’s mom died, and you find yourself crying at the drop of a hat. Maybe you moved to a new city or just had your first baby or are finalizing your divorce. Life is full of a myriad of changes and transitions and sometimes they rock us to the core.
5. You feel stuck. And maybe that’s as specific as you can get about it. In some way you can’t quite put your finger on, the life you’re leading is not the one you thought you’d lead. Or maybe the way in which you’re stuck is very clear, but you aren’t sure how to move forward. We all come to crossroads in our lives and may need some help navigating our next steps.
Perhaps you see yourself in one of these five areas, or maybe you could add numbers 6-10 to the list. Therapy offers the gift of a safe place to wonder about yourself with someone who has put a lot of thought into the ways we struggle and try to find freedom. Perhaps most importantly, therapy is a place to be with someone will hope on your behalf. I welcome any questions you have about whether therapy is the right fit for you, what happens in therapy, and what kind of therapist might be most helpful for you.